Sleep

I am the ocean omnipotent, the unrelenting sea ,

My current flows,

My body swells,

Crashing in cacophony.

I am dust on the wind,

Struck by wave and particle,

My presence is revealed

Dazzling, fleeting, longing,

No longer am I concealed

And like the bird that swoops, I rise and fall,

Opposed to the world-static; tired and worn.

I am not one, who is linked to another,

I do not conform.

Sleep, the eternal invigorator. Sleep, interrupted on a cold morning by broken reflections of an emblazoned harbour. Boats canter back and forth against their moorings, in time with the gentle sea, lapping the pier’s edge. Together the sound, the light, the amnesia of a rested mind, create a harmony which only you can hear. A harmony that you not only witness but are a part of. The world is your orchestra; you are composer, conductor, audience.

Wake, the realisation of consciousness; rebirth. Wake, you’re in the real world now. Have a shower, put on your suit, eat a rushed breakfast, get to work ten minutes late, placate your boss with a tired excuse, fulfil your menial eight-hour duties, go home, watch TV. You’re in the real world now.

Sleep. Dream of utopia, not the pseudo-harbour-paradise you live in. Dream of love, fulfilment. Dream of music, of sound uniting in all its forms to create the holy image of God. Dream of all that is human, dream all that is irrelevant. For it is relevance that confines us.

Are you happy? You shouldn’t be. Are you safe? You are? You must be doing something wrong.

Wake, you belong, but to what? No time for that. You’re late again. Put on your Friday casuals. No clean ones? Wear the dirty ones. Quick! Cross the road, swear at a taxi, not realising how close you came to death. Death, pale in comparison to punctuality. Arrive at work. A minute early too! What’s this? Oh dear, your fired. You’re not welcome here anymore, get out!

You step out of your concrete prison met by a congregation of swollen clouds. How fortunate. Run home, fumble your keys and open the gate. You make it, safely, but now you’re footsteps are punctuated by the squelch of water-laden shoes. Now that your home, what to do? You’re obsolete and bored, with nowhere to go. You’re soaked to the bone, a warm shower will cheer you up. You emerge, drowsy. Hmm… 10am. Bedtime.

Sleep, where the events of your day dissolve only to transform into hideous and terrifying permutations. You’re at sea, waves beckon you, atop the rocking boat, its sails bloated. The ocean swells, looming over your now humbled craft. You’re overwhelmed. The power. The pressure. You’re engulfed. You grip your sheets with sweaty palms and turn, to hide. Coward! Fear is your vice. Overcome it. But you are weak.

Wake, drained, as if your blood has been syphoned from your veins. Your limbs are heavy as you lift the saturated sheets from you listless body. Knock! Knock! The rent is due. No job? No money? Looks like you’re being evicted from this material paradise, this existential prison. You may not feel it but you are free! Free to fly, to blossom with all your radiance. But tonight you will search for salvation among pain. You will lay lifeless on the streets of your not-so-long-ago haven.

Insomnia, your body craves sleep but will not give in to the wispy tentacles of nightly ether. A flash of light. A car back fires. A siren whirs. You groan, your bones brittle and your feet cold. Your head splits and tears pour out the freshly carved crevasse. And as your tears are freed they are taken in the glistening rain. How poetic. You feel pain. But you feel. This is living. Your solution to life’s challenge, the smothering blanket of your constructed existence is lifted. You’re in the real world now. Sun: light, power, life, passion, God. And like the phoenix it rises, first casting a dim twilight, and then, out of the obscurity of concrete towers clawing at your eyes scintillating brilliance. This, is living.

Stand up, you clothes ruined, you mind healed. You see the world as the fiction it is. You realise now that money does not equate to prosperity; leisure to peace. Walk now among the real world, free to see, hear, taste, smell and experience all the sensations of the universe. You are free to breathe and to feel. Capture all that is around you now in the vaults of your memory. The swooping gulls, rasping as they pass. A glint of dust caught in the wind on a clear day, the sky unobscured. On this day you feel you are closest to heaven, to infinite happiness, immeasurable content. But you can’t fly, so you must swim. To the ocean, bringer of life and death and eternal life. Swim.

Your body received by icy water escapes its mortal confinement. You swim, for warmth and for life. And farther you go until your freedom is realised and your heart beats with unprecedented passion. Until you are happy. But you are no longer safe. Your buoyancy diminished, you slip beneath the oceans vast blanket. But you are not afraid, you are brave. You close your eyes.

Sleep.